Ceasar P Bonilla
May 6,2007
For 65 years he has been my fathers baby brother. Though my dad had the vigor and good looks of a 50 year old at the age of 70. However, he had the striking face of my grandfather.
Yesterday I got a call from my mom. My uncle who had been secretly battling brain cancer that was just discovered short of less than a year. As of yesterday my uncle died and I was not there to be with him nor was my father.
My traveling has caused me to be far from my parents something that does not sit well with them. So my stubborn father decided to follow me to make sure I was ok. Much to our protest since his baby brother was sick.
But my father had his reasons. My father isn’t the soft emotional type. To see another brother of his dying of the same cancer ( the youngest died of Brain cancer 5 years ago) is tough as well. Plus doctors had placed me undersurvailance since I was showing the same hereditary signs of my uncles.
My father grieves and mourns in silence. Refusing to eat sleep nor talk.
I cant be there in his funeral, but all I can do is post an online memorial in Honor of his life.
Tito Cesar was a father of 5 kids that bear the Chinese side of the family…. The chinky eyes. While they say that I looked like my Grandma ( dad’s side too) It hard to believe my dad and Tito were brothers. From skin color to body shape. Even the lifestyle. My father was able to move on due to his Chef and Military career to support the rest of his siblings through college even though he was not the eldest.
In the years that passed Tito Ceasar decided to stay in the province of San Pablo Laguna
There he led a simple provincial life, though modest he was able to pull through his kids to college. But his kids had their own share of marital problems while others had too many kids to take care of, in his twilight years he still worked even as a tricycle driver to put his grandkids ( one with bone cancer at the age of 8).
He suffered greater tragedies, in 2003 he lost a son to an accident. I was in the middle of that. I had to handle my nieces who were separated when my cousin (who passed away) in a bitter struggle during the funeral. He stood his ground, my uncle by the grave and shed a silent tear. No father has to bear to see his sons death before his.
We had our joys. Every Christmas was our time, a HUGE family reunion. Wither at our house in manila or at the farm in Laguna. But the best would be Araw ng Patay cause we have a HUGE family plot in the cemetery so we would set camp, bring food and flirt with the boys and girls every year in the neighboring plot.
My uncle thinking I was soo fragile would follow me to the 30 feet sari sari store or isaw stand.
He thought any hill billy boy would hit one me. So if anyone as much as a foot would stand near me, he will be there with his glaring eyes chasing them away.
He had protected me that way. Even from my cousins even though I can beat them to a pulp, he always made sure I was treated as a princess. Too much sometimes. When I was constantly in the hospital, hed be there too.
And he always preferred simplicity and humility over luxury. Something I unconsciously learned from him
Last I saw him, was last year….he wasn’t diagnosed yet. I said I’d see him again. a promise I’ll never get to fulfill.
But in my heart I know he died in the presence of his more than 10 grandkids. He died with the people who he loved, grown up with. And though he barely spoke to my dad, I know in my heart how much they loved one another.
He is free now of the pain, May he rest in peace
I Love you
anyway I'll update more soon
