Birthday week

Birthday week

I didnt realized how fast my bday was approaching until my laptop told me it was already the 15th.

Its still a few days short of the B-day but since budget has been tight, Ill just have a cupcake for my bday cake.

I'll be attending a Bridal bazaar on my bday too, I got a free pass ( sorta) so I'll get to sample some free wedding cakes. At least I have cakes ( damn you Goenitz where are u lately)

On the other hand, I have finally relinquished my Ragnaboards role as Moderator...sorta.

I always thought that, I would never have to be touched by the "political games" Level Up tends to play with its employees from time to time. I have my own share of horror stories, that I personally have witnessed from former co-workers and some even got a few hits and misses myself. If not for a few good friends in LU who knew of my naiveness that helped me out before

However, most of them are gone now.

I left being a Moderator in Ragnaboards for maaaany personal reasons

I RB more than I work, so yeah my IRL work sometimes gets affected however I never got caught :-)

I loose sleep on weekends just RBing

Ever since my PC downgraded, I cant play RO as much so I have limited knowledge of the game nowadays.

But the main reason perhaps that I also fail to admit to myself and everyone, is that I am losing motivation to manage RB. Being of what it has become. The rowdy people, disrespectful ( often idiotic players), but most of all the obvious rift between the mod team and me.

To make matters worse I think I left RB just in time. You see the rules in the boards? Thats about to change soon. I spoke to the manager handling RB about the " professionalism " issues we were having internally in the team.

When the manager told me that she doesnt care about the personal, team fighting issues as long as we do the job right, that statement hit a very sensitive chord. I told her that in LU and in Rb during my time, that wasnt how things run. Since you need team work to make everything run smoother and at least some level of reprimandation for those few mods who tend to lose their way ( that includes me).

The response she gave me was very disappointing. She told me since we mods are not being paid, its ok to do " whatever" we want in the boards as long as we do the job. Any personal issues, or fights, wala na sya don. Also she said " Iba yung dati, iba na yung ngayon: pertaining how LUG/RB was before to the now system. Frankly I dont like the Now system

The RB Mod team in the past few months has its shares of ups and downs. More downs than ups to be exact. We had a couple of rouge mods who basically said things that are NOT supposed to be said to players. We had internal issues in which a few mods would take leaves yet they still used the mod account to just chat ( The manager told me that NOW thats ok). I spoke to other former LU managers, they said that action is a bit irresponsible since a mod on leave should not use a property of LU for personal reasons, in case that mod makes a mistakes its LU who will get the negative hit.

We had mods who would NOT pass reports, and basically what just ticked me off in the end was the blatant disrespect and arrogance of some of them.

In my opinion, perhaps because we have a difference of what we think is morally correct is the one thing that divided us the most. Some of the mods have gained more preference from both LU and the public despite if what they do is right or wrong...basically, I got outnumbered and they have the public to back them up.

What I find wrong too is the amnesty they would give to their friends when they commit offenses or offensive remarks to other or to me. In some cases they too would chime in with the crudeness of the pack. And when you point it out the call you the one being " Unprofessional or childish"

Im not saying Im the perfect mod or GM either I have my mood swings. And lets face it, my grammar can even be beaten by a 3rd grader. Sometimes I often over reprimand a person in the forums, and my " Ate" attitude gets the best of me when reprimanding anyone younger than me.

Bottom line, I can make as much terrible mistakes as anyone. And no matter how much anger sometimes boils in my heart, in the end I really would rather would like to resolve things. That is the one thing many of the LU employees lack especially people in the mod team. Apologize doesnt seem to be an option

The last few days I had in RB were really sad. And in one instance some one used a very personal and uncalled for remark about my family member.

I'm tired of it, the politics, the corruption, all the red tape crap. And I am losing my pride to have once worked with Level Up after the way they have taken advantage of most of its employees, not just mods but good people in general . Everything I stand up for, defended and believed that RB was the one good place in Level Ups' bad rep, was shattered in an instant.

Worse is that I lost the people whom I thought were my friends.

Maybe Im being too emotional about all this. But only because, I always regarded my role in Level Up as one of the best Jobs I had in my life. The relationships I built were some of the strongest I still have. I cant say entirely for the mod team its the same. You cannot please people who do not want to be pleased.

I should have listened to my friend in LUG who told me, that I should play the politics game...too bad I never did. I don't entirely regret it, but at least maybe i could have made changes to prevent whats become of RB now...I dunno.

I do however feel that whatever contributions I did do for RB or LU were completely forgotten if not taken for granted. I sometimes even fear pointing them out due to the fact I dont want to be labeled as a person who thrives on attention or my "laurels"

Wouldnt matter anymore.

Ohhhh well Happy Bday then to me.